I'm a fan of dating shows, First Dates and Married at First Sight are my current favourites, but I even used to love Street Mate back in the day. I was recently struck by how some people seem to be struck with the disease of "I want it all-itis".
One woman seemed cross that her partner expected time with her, and confused that she was struggling to fit in the 3 am-dram classes she took a week, and all of the other social commitments she had. She seemed to believe that the right man for her, would just fit into her lifestyle. If she had to sacrifice anything he surely wasn't the right one...
Another woman spent most of the show discussing the personality traits of the ideal partner she'd like, however after meeting her date, instantly got cross and sad that she didn't feel instant and electric chemistry.
What we sometimes need reminding of is that we can't have it all!
If you want a partner in your life, you firstly need to be willing to make space for one, and secondly accept that a partnership means a blending of two lives, not one simply merging into yours. It's like me wanting to change my body; I can't change my body and still do everything else at the same time. I've committed to 4 gym visits a week for a while, which means saying no to some other things. I can't do it all.
If you want a partner you can't set an imaginary list of criteria, and stick so strictly to it, that you spend most of your time saying no to a date 2. I remember reading great advice once, that a first date only had to be good enough to warrant a second. Don't make any massive judgements about your feelings, just ask whether it was nice enough to repeat. Sometimes feelings aren't instant, but that doesn't mean it can't result in exactly what you are looking for.
I'm not anti Tinder by any means (I met B on Tinder afterall!) but it has certainly encouraged the "I won't settle for anyone who doesn't tick every single thing on my list" mentality. Which I think means that many people miss out on potentially awesome things.
I'm not saying settle. I'm saying be open, and be flexible. Remain focused on what you actually want. You may need to change your lifestyle patterns if you find someone, but remember you wanted to find someone! You may want someone who is kind, funny and loyal...that person may not be the exact height you dream of. That would be such a shitty reason to miss out on the love of your life.