He wasn't my boyfriend for very long, and I had only started falling in love with him, so as break ups go, it wasn't the worst. However, with him close by, we remained pretty enmeshed for months afterwards. Logically I understood why we weren't a smart choice (or maybe more just wrong timing) but I seemed unable to give 'us' up completely. It felt so easy and comfortable with him, and we had fun, pure and silly fun, even after the breakup.
He moved across the world, and it's exactly what he needs, and actually it's what I needed. We seemed unable to let each other go, even though we weren't what each other needed.
It's odd that we can make choices that we are know are wrong; yet make them all the same.
The dangerous part of holding onto something that isn't for you is that you won't have space for the right thing to find you.
This isn't just about holding onto people, but jobs, or habits too. We need to create space so that the right or next thing can find us. It was advice my mother gave me years ago, and it's really stuck with me.
When I quit my job, I started working part time to help bridge the gap to self-employment. It can be really hard to tell when it is the right time to quit the part time job too. It's super scary to give up the security blanket of a part time job, but the part time job holds you back from advancing in your new path. I wasn't sure what to do, and my Mother advised me that I needed to make the space for more opportunities to find me, and that it was time to make the leap, and let go. So I did, and here I am. Sometimes we need to just let go, and allow the space to just exist for a while. And that's the scary part.