Creating Intimacy with your partner (and possibly Vagisil)

This is a sponsored post, but all thoughts are my own.

Last year I took part in Vagisil's #EndEmbarrassment campaign and was more than happy when they asked me to collaborate again this year, for the launch of their new ProHydrate range.

"Vagisil are about to launch a powerful new campaign aimed at improving the confidence of women everywhere. This coincides with the launch of their new ProHydrate range, specifically designed to relieve intimate dryness & aimed at restoring intimacy in their relationship. "

As I hit my 30s I realised how much of my teens and 20s I spent feeling passively about my sex life. Without the internet, we relied on glossy magazines and the playground for our lessons about our bodies, sex and intimacy. I had an emotionally healthy sex life, but I definitely viewed sex as something that was for men. It's what women gave up to gain affection. I find this achingly sad now, but it just how it was. 

Thank the lord for the change in message we all have access to now. Magazines have switched from "5 ways to give the best blow job" to "5 ways to get the best sex ever", sexual positive writers and blogs are easily shared and read online, and our pop cultural icons are becoming more feminist and diverse with their sexual messaging.

Intimacy comes from a sense of being accepted, and feeling good as enough as you are. It comes from sharing joy, and laughing at silly things. It comes from being heard, and feeling cared for.

The Vagisil ProHydrate range is available at Boots and Superdrug

The Vagisil ProHydrate range is available at Boots and Superdrug

Vagisil found that over half of women wish they felt more connected to their partner, so I thought I'd share some tips to create or develop intimacy.

1. You feel close to someone when you feel accepted for who you are. This means you need to allow someone to get to know you, without a guard up, or any pretence. Be honest with your feelings, and allow your partner to get to know the real you; warts and all.

2. Sexual intimacy is important, and it means accepting that sex is about both of your pleasure equally. It means shelving the awkwardness and being able to share and discuss your sex life with each other. The ProHydrate range says "You can have the most loving relationship, but if you experience vaginal dryness what starts as a dryness problem can become a relationship problem," and this is certainly true for any sexual issue. You both need to feel listened to, and trust that you are both willing to address any challenges that may crop up along the way.

3. Laugh together. Finding things that make you both roar with laughter enable you to feel intimate in an equally important way. Comedy shows, silly youtube videos or telling funny stories allow you to giggle and connect. There's something so honest about hysterical laughter, and it's hard to beat.

I haven't experienced the problem that Vagisil are providing a solution for, however I have experienced a variety of sexual dysfunctionalities and I know how critical it is to address them. I had vaginismus for 15 years (and sexual counselling) and I've dated men with their own variety of sexual dysfunctions too. Sex isn't always easy people!

Most of us crave intimacy, and you deserve the sex life you desire. Whether that means talking about it more, using a product like Vagisil (without shame), or simply finding the time to feel reconnected to your partner, just do it.  Sex isn't reserved for the skinny and beautiful; we are all deserving of the kickarse feeling that intimacy brings with it.