I'm not even sure what we meant when we say we want to trust someone? To trust them to never let us down? Well that's surely an impossibility. To trust them to do their best not to hurt us? To trust their intentions?
By wanting to say we trust someone, are we seeking a promise that is simply unreachable; to never be disappointed or hurt?
Wanting to trust comes from a fear of the future, a need to feel secure in the present by being able to predict what will happen next.
I think what is more powerful is to learn to trust ourselves. To trust that no matter what happens we're be able to handle it. That we'll come out of the other side. That when disappointment strikes, as it inevitably will, we'll be ok.
To give everything your all, but know that you won't be left empty by doing so.
How do we do that?
1. Maintain your own interests. This reassures you that your life is whole and complete without a significant other in it.
2. Trust your gut more than you trust others.
3. Take notice of action more than words. What matters is how someone behaves, not what they say.
4. Understand that it's often a lack of thought, rather than an actual decision to hurt you that causes pain.