I wouldn't usually post about such personal issues for two reasons. They are only usually interesting to people directly related, and I like to keep a divide between my personal life and what I publish online. However, I feel like I need to do this today.
My darling father died today, 12 years ago. I was 15. It was the most life-affecting moment of my life, and has shaped all that has come after it.
He was by no means perfect, but I wouldn't have changed anything. I accept his faults just as he did mine.
He has given me some of the things I think are most lovely about me. He helped me be confident and to have high expectations of myself. He challenged my thinking and helped me develop my sense of self. He gave me the deepest sense of unconditional love.
His death helped me to become even more self sufficient, and to follow my dreams. It made me re-evaluate life and it helped me realise I could conquer anything. If I could live day to day with that level of pain - what else couldn't I do?!
His death also allowed me to forge a more positive relationship with my mother. I am grateful that I now have that, where as before I had not. Life works in mysterious ways.
I feel lucky that I had him for 15 years, as I know many people have lesser fathers for less time. I feel lucky that he helped make me who I am today.
We are all created and shaped by the people around us, those that love us help form our own loveliness. Treasure those who love you and make you feel worthy of love. They should make you feel like you could battle the world and win, but that they would be there to mend your wounds should you fail.