The myth of the blogger clique

blogger cliques

There is a lot of moaning in the blogger-sphere about cliques. That when you go to events there are groups of influencers with secret code words and dangerous initiations, who are gossiping behind their hands about your face not fitting.

But there really aren't. What the fuck is a clique anyway? 

"a small group of people who spend theirtime together and do not welcome other people into that group:"

It's particularly used against addition to words like bitchy, catty, feisty, airhead...I've never heard the word clique used in reference to men.

So what is happening when you walk into an influencer event, and you end up standing alone by the bar watching groups of people laughing and having a great time. The thoughts run through your mind, that they are a closed group of friends, only interested in each other. That they're probably sneering at your outfit choice.

These thoughts grow from our inherient belief that the world revolves around us. We are the starring actor of our feature films. But we're mere bit parts in other people's films. So what is happening?

We're all vulnerable, and scared. Even the most confident of people. We're all a little scared. So those groups of people are just people grateful to be with people, and relieved they don't need to stand alone at the bar. They're relieved to have already met these people at another event, that they can relax. They're not mean, they're just relieved. 

I find this mind shift helps, when I'm nervous and feeling left out. Those groups of people all laughing and giggling aren't forming a clique. They're friends having a nice time, relieved that they have someone to stand with.