My breakup - a year on.

a year being single

I've made it, that year marker since breaking up with the guy I broke up with. Turns out I wore this t-shirt  in April last year too....so what's changed?

I moved house so I could live alone again. I'd been putting off moving, as it felt silly, as surely the next step would be moving in together. I mean, we'd been talking about moving abroad, so moving would be silly. But I've moved, and it's been fabulous. 

I've lost some of my 'relationship' weight and returned to fitness. I've been lifting heavy things, getting out of breath and running outside.

I've started voluteering! I managed a hair salon for Crisis at Christmas, I volunteer as a stylist getting women dressed for job interviews, and with a children's literacy charity.

I've been on two holidays, both of which were better than my holiday as a couple. One was with 50 influencers, and one with my best friend.

I've started fostering cats. I had Bronwyn for 11 weeks, and Jerry has currently been with me for 6 weeks. I've really missed having a pet, and fostering is just proving to be perfect for me and my situation.

I took two writing classes, one was 'Writing For Magazines', and one 'Writing for Children'. I needed to get my brain engaged again, with something new, and these were cheaper than I'd presumed, and a great creative nudge in a good direction.

I've become more politically engaged. I've been on 3 marches through London, and more engaged with feminist politics than ever before. 

I am learning BSL. I completed my Level 1, and am currently working on my Level 2. This was something I've always dabbled with, and as a couple I tried to get us both doing it, but actually, flying solo again, I just finally did it.

So, overall, I've really grown in the last year, which although is glorious in many ways, is sort of sad. Did being in a relationship provide a step towards all of this, or was it actually holding me back? It reminds me of one of my favourite life mottos, "I can do anything, but not everything,". Did the effort and commitment to a relationship, to another person, mean that I wasn't able to put the effort and commitment into myself?