I am often found on twitter moaning that I just want to exist. I just want men to leave me alone; to stop commenting on me, to stop looking at me, and stop making me fearful. I just want to be able to take up space without being objectified or scared.
Today I had a small epiphany, in another way that men are generally allowed to exist in a way I do not. They wake up, splash their face, and their face exists as it is. They generally look the same. They can leave the house, bump into a long-lost friend, and not apologise for their lack of make-up. They exist as they are, with no apologies, embarrassment or fear of judgement.
As an important side note, I am aware that many women do not wear make-up, and that some men wear make-up, however it is still a societal norm that women do, and men do not.
I always say that I love make-up. I love that I get to create my face each day. However, part of me also thinks I've been conditioned to think this. Because I definitely envy men who get to just exist as they are. They don't get ready for the gym, and just allow themselves to powder on some brows, to feel more 'normal'. They don't lay in bed with a new partner wondering what they are thinking about seeing their 'naked' face. They don't debate whether they can really go to the corner shop without make up on (what if they bump into someone?!). They don't spend a good chunk of change making their 'natural' face appear more 'natural'.
Society allows men to just have their face. It allows them to get up, get dressed and just be whoever they just are. It is less forgiving to women's faces.
I actually can't imagine how free that must feel, and they wouldn't even appreciate it as they haven't known different. To just have a face, and exist with it. To just get up and go. To not feel 'not ready' or 'not finished'.