How to find an alternatively lovely love?


I think it must be the winter cold that seems to make the single life lose its usual shine. This time of year encourages coupledom:

  • It's cold, and heating is expensive. Cuddling up to someone makes the icey mornings slightly less awful.
  • Present buying. It is always nice to treat the one you love.
  • New Year's Eve requires kissing. This can be a great opportunity for singles, but in actual fact usually means standing around waiting for your coupled friends to finish snogging to give you a swift kiss on the cheek and a hug.
  • Invitations. Work dos, christmas dos and family dinners all raise the question of whether you need a plus one.

However, I am one to look at the positive sides of things, so here is my list of reasons it is good to be single at this time of year:

  • It's hard to feel sexy when all you want to do is wram up in your secret hoody and thermal leggings.
  • You don't have to spend so much on gifts.
  • You can enjoy the thrill of 'who will I meet' at all the parties you'll be at.
  • You don't have to attend any parties you don't want to.

But if you are on the look out for a new companion, what methods are there?

1) Meeting your mate at work. Apparently most people meet their partners through work. You spend most of your time at work, so this statistic makes logical sense. It can however feel quite depressing if you look around your place of work and imagine your chances of falling in love are pretty slim.

2) Meeting a friend of a friend. A lot of my friends have met partners through their friends. This can work well, as you are likely to share a similar interest or outlook, as you have friends in common. To increase the chances of this happening you have to make sure you attend all invites your friends throw your way. It does rely on you having socialable friends though.

3) Sharing a common interest or hobby. You could follow the traditional advice of joining a class (salsa or woodwork anyone?), and hope to meet like minded people. I haven't actually met anyone who has succeeded in this yet, but it is still oft-given advice, so must be working for someone!

4) Dating events. You could try on-line dating, speed dating, dating dinners, single holidays or one of the other dating related events that are out there. This definitely seems to be the way favoured by many people I know. I think it is a good proactive approach, and you certainly increase your chances of meeting someone new. Everyone surely knows the safety rules by now, so I won't repeat them here.

5) Family. Many cultures still rely heavily on family involvement when finding a partner, but it seems to have dropped from favour from other cultures. Your family knows you best, and in most cases have your best interests at heart, so it may be worth considering!

6) Random encounters. I am attending a wedding this month of a couple who met on an aeroplane. To increase your chances of meeting someone randomly I would strongly suggest that you lose your headphones. If you have your headphones in, you are very closed off from the world, and no one is likely to strike up a conversation with you. If you need distraction, try a book instead.

7) In a club or pub. I almost feel too old to comment on this, as I haven't spoken to any randoms in pubs for bars for years now! In my younger years, this was definitely the reliable place for meeting people. My tips to increase the chance of finding love here include going in small groups. Large groups can be intimidating to people who may want to approach you. Talking of approaching - have a go at approaching people. I once dated a fabulous guy who I approached in a bar - I just asked the time, or some other similarly boring question.

Have you met someone in a place different to the ones I've listed? Let me know!


Need to get over your ex first? Read my other post on how to get over an ex.