Comparing yourself to an ex...

Surely we've all done it. Glanced at a picture of our partner's ex and crumpled a little inside. Whether they seem thinner, prettier/more handsome, more successful, funnier, more popular, more sexually adventurous etc, it can make even the most confident of people doubt themselves.

Before google and facebook, it happened a lot less. You'd expect your partner to take down any photos from their walls, and you'd never have to confront it. However, along with the birth of social networking came the easy access to snooping.

It may make us feel inadequate, unsure, or to doubt your partner when they give you compliments. It can gnaw away at you, and cause anger that is based on nothing - your partner can't help having an ex.

1) Think back to your exes. Where they all the same? Did you compare their bodies in your mind? If you partner has a soft belly did it really matter to you (I am hoping most of you would say no!). We want different things in different times in our lives. What we found attractive in one partner may not be what we are looking for in a new partner.

2) That flat stomach wasn't enough to keep them together. They broke up. It is slightly easier when your partner was one who did the dumping, but even if your partner was the dumpee, the relationship wasn't working. Hopefully yours is.

3) You are lovely. Your partner should feel lucky to have you. If they don't make you feel lovely, leave them.

4) Just because someone is generically beautiful or pretty doesn't mean that they are fun, happy, interesting, intelligent or lovely. Your partner's ex may well have been a model, but no relationships ever last based on looks alone.

5) Take things slowly. If you don't feel your partner is over their ex, slow things down a bit. If you are meant to be together, the wait won't change anything.