All my friends are having babies and I'm just like...

Just over half of UK pregnancies are planned, one in six are unplanned, with the rest 'ambivalent' which is an odd category for baby planning!

all my friends are having babies

I'm 33, which means I'm that age where my friends are starting to choose and plan pregnancies. In my 20s any pregnancies we experienced tended to be surprises, and responses were more reserved (Do you know what you want to do? etc?)

When my loved ones announce pregnancies I experience a two-fold reaction.  Firstly I'm happy that they've achieved something that they've been wanting. I want my friends to have everything they dream of for their life, and I'm excited that I get to share each chapter of their life with them. However the unspoken second emotion I experience is one of fleeting sadness.

A moment of mourning for the loss of the friend I had, creating space for the new friend they will become. Babies change people, and they change the dynamics of the friendship. This is exciting, but I have learnt to allow myself to feel sad for the relationship I had. It's ok to miss the child-free friend you once had, at the same time as being excited to watch her become a mother. It doesn't make you a selfish bint, it's just an honest reflection on how parenthood changes people.