I'm not even sure what we meant when we say we want to trust someone? To trust them to never let us down? Well that's surely an impossibility. To trust them to do their best not to hurt us?  To trust their intentions?  

By wanting to say we trust someone, are we seeking a promise that is simply unreachable; to never be disappointed or hurt?

Wanting to trust comes from a fear of the future, a need to feel secure in the present by being able to predict what will happen next.

I think what is more powerful is to learn to trust ourselves. To trust that no matter what happens we're be able to handle it. That we'll come out of the other side. That when disappointment strikes, as it inevitably will, we'll be ok. 

To give everything your all, but know that you won't be left empty by doing so. 

How do we do that?

1. Maintain your own interests. This reassures you that your life is whole and complete without a significant other in it.

2. Trust your gut more than you trust others.

3. Take notice of action more than words. What matters is how someone behaves, not what they say.

4. Understand that it's often a lack of thought, rather than an actual decision to hurt you that causes pain. 



Borrow My Doggy - My new doggy playmate

borrow my doggy again

I went on my first Borrow My Doggy play date in January 2015, and recently borrowed my toy poodle for 7 days, but today I had another first date! Meet my new doggy pal Sailor! 

pomerarian dog

So I had her for the whole day, so plenty of time to become pals. I started at home, to just give her a chance to get to know me. I've actually never touched a dog as small as this, which took a while to get used to!  

vintage hood dryers with dog

We went to the salon to say hello, and a quick pose. She even got street style spotted on the way, with a photographer asking to take her picture. 

pomeraian dog bed

We headed back home, so I could do some writing. I have a little laptop table for when I want to work from bed, and Sailor seemed more than content to just chill beside me.

It's a hard life hey?!

#VerySpecialSomething - All About The Sparkle

superdry skirt £42   +    French Connection dress £165

superdry skirt £42   +    French Connection dress £165

When asked me to take part in their #VerySpecialSomething campaign I jumped at the chance to indulge in some online window shopping. I had planned to show off their great search facility (which allows me to search for 'pencil' as a subsection of skirts) as I often find online browsing so overwhelming when you're faced with 27 pages of results. However, I got rather distracted by all the sparkles. I quickly changed my plans.....the sequins won.

V by very black skirt £27   +   converse £35

V by very black skirt £27   +   converse £35

If winter isn't the time to indulge in sequins, I don't know when is?! I'm such a believer in not saving your best clothes for 'best', as it leaves you in a rather odd situation of wearing your crappiest clothes the most, and your nicest clothes the least! Wear your favourite clothes the most! 

River Island sequin jeans £60   +   v by very dress £24.50

River Island sequin jeans £60   +   v by very dress £24.50

I wore my disco pants til they died, and I may have to soon upgrade to sequin disco pants. I know they won't last forever, but I reckon they'd bring me so much joy every time I wore them. They'd be great with a more casual knit jumper, or more glam for a night out. These skinny sequinned jeans are my absolute favourites, they went down a storm on my instagram too!

Forever unique dress £271.50   +    Myleene Klass (no longer available)

Forever unique dress £271.50   +    Myleene Klass (no longer available)

I have yet to be invited to an event where I'd feel a floor length sequin gown would be appropriate, but by gosh, when I do, I'm going to rock it.

V by Very Dress £85      +          V by Very turquoise skirt £20.30

V by Very Dress £85      +          V by Very turquoise skirt £20.30

I am quite a practical shopper, so sequins tend not to make the cut, they seem quite indulgent; they won't last long and are traditionally saved for special nights out. But this winter I'm determined to treat myself to some sparkle. Not all purchases need to be logical do they?!

Juicy Couture  £86.50

Juicy Couture  £86.50

If I get lost, at least I know I can follow the trail of sequins home...

This is a sponsored post but all views are, as always, my own.

When tragic things happen in the world...

When tragic things happen in the world, our emotions can all become pretty tangled. We're horrified for the people who lost their lives in such a violent and unwarranted fashion, we're saddened for everyone affected by their loss. We're scared for ourselves and our own loved ones, and the harsh reminder that life (and death) is wildly unpredictable. We're confused at how humans beings can become so warped in their understanding of the world. We're angry that there are people who wish innocent lives harm. We're forced to remember our own fragility and mortality. 

All of these emotions and people's understanding of them seem to cause conflict themselves. People on twitter get cross at how other people react, they feel as if there is a correct response, and people need to be corrected or educated to respond in the same was as they do. Fear, shock, sadness and anger are all unpredictable emotions, and I think people would be kinder if they reminded themselves of this.

Ten years ago I was in Hurricane Katrina, a storm that destroyed a city which hasn't yet recovered. I was trapped in The Superdome, a now rather infamous stadium, which housed about 20,000 of us, largely, the poor, the vulnerable and homeless. It was a terrifying scary place to be held, with fear, sadness and violence never too far away. On the street outside were hijackers, looters and tragic scenes of loss. I witnessed how the emotions of fear, sadness and anger can affect people differently. We may be reacting differently but the feelings are generally the same.

The glimmers of hope that shine though during a tragedy are where our minds can safely go. We see how during crisis many people rise to greatness. Whether they're standing in line to donate blood in Paris, or preparing boxes of care to be sent to refugees in Calais. We are reminded to appreciate our loved ones, to reflect on our own good fortunes, and to seek to spread joy and kindness. 


This post was written in response to the Terrorist attacks in Paris. 


Why do we always want more tattoos?

If you were able to just click your fingers and have your tattoo-journey complete (whether that means full body coverage for you, or much less) would you? If money, pain and healing time were no object, would you fill in all your gaps at the flick of a magic switch, or would you crave the ability to get tattooed as and when you felt the urge?

I  read an online article on by Alice Dreger, where she was pondering what would happen if we just told children that we largely had sex for pleasure. Her son had queried how accidental pregnancies were in fact possible, if adults only had sex to procreate (the message that was passed to him in school and most sex-ed book aimed at kids). Alice realised that we forget to explain that most sex has nothing to do with wanting children, but is actually for pleasure. She calmly told her son that after puberty you start to get a 'special' itch, and asked him to reflect how good it felt to scratch an itch. This analogy for me seemed to answer the ever-asked question about why people seem to feel an urge to keep getting more tattoos.


I have my own special itch (the tattoo kind). In the past 5 years I've developed a seemingly never-ending craving to narrate my life on my skin. That little sense of unrest my tattoo-itch caused made me want to walk into the nearest tattoo shop and get a small addition, marking this new step in my life's journey. I was surprised by how intense that feeling was. It reminded me of Alice describing to her son that he'd only understand the feeling of sexual desire once he hit puberty. Only people who get lots of tattoos understand that specific craving for more!

I'm not addicted to tattoos, the pain, or 'ruining myself',  I'm simply enjoying scratching my little ink itches along the way!

So, would I take up the option to 'finish' myself? No. I'm enjoying the journey far too much. The waiting, saving, researching, impulsively going for it, collaborating, designing, and waiting to see how it settles in; all part of our own tattoo voyages. It wouldn't be half as fun without the journey.

How to change the world

I've posted about Kid President more than once before - A Pep Talk and  20 things we should say more often. It's time for another one!

This one, "How to Change The World" really rang true with me, and I wanted to transcribe some of it and share it. I think you'll like it.


Kid President's Guide to Changing The World:

1. Complain about it.

2.Have lots of money.

3. Be loud and yell a lot, "Do it my way!"

4. Make fun of everything. "It's easy to make fun of everything but it's cooler to make stuff."

5. Let smarter people do it.

6. Ignore everything.

7. Be famous.

8. Be powerful.

Are you guilty of believing any of these excuses for not changing your little corner of the world? Do you sometimes forget that changes happen when ordinary people make them. Changes don't need to be huge to make a difference to someone. We all need reminding of this sometimes.

He advises, that when you feel overwhelmed, remember this:

"Things don't have to be the way they are."

The drama of picking pants every morning

No matter how much I try and de-clutter and make my knicker drawer less bursting at the seams, I find I really need that many pants! My daily underwear choice goes something like this:

"I'll just dig my hand in there, take the first pair I find. Nope, not those ones, they match that other bra, and what if I want to wear a set later this week? These cotton ones are easy, oh actually I'm wearing a pencil skirt today and these are really visible under tight clothes. The silkier ones will be better, oh wait, I'm due on my period soon and I'd hate to ruin these pretty ones; that blood never comes out. So I need older less pretty ones, that won't cause a bump under my skirt. The purple ones! Of course. Nope, they sit too low and give me an odd muffin top."

I dream of a different drawer...having perhaps just one type of pant; that perfect pant. But I know its not possible. What about days when I need to wear a panty liner (need a wider knicker), or days where I need an invisible line through skirts, or days where I want to match my bra? Or days when I'm feeling a little chunkier and want a safe and comfy boy-pant? I think I'm destined to have the knicker drawer from hell.